POWIP Piece of Work In Progress

A Sneetch on Barack Obama

I have to admit: nothing changed my view of the actuality of American Politics more than when presented with the stunning lackluster choice we were presented with during the last Plesidential Erection cycle. Two completely worthless and unworthy choices were placed before us.

1) John McCain - I am sure John is an okay guy. And I sure appreciate his sacrifice and commitment to his country as it relates to Vietnam. Regardless of how tragic that particular war was, here was a man who fulfilled his obligation to the letter. But since then, John had done really nothing worthy of note. Unless of course, one is a fan of moderately conservative politicians.

2) Barack Obama - I am sure Barack Obama is an okay guy too. But really, I still can't name any accomplishment of his, either before being erected or since. I can name some awards he has been awarded - but, again, no accomplishments to date.

These were our choices. Pretty f*cking sad to say. I have tried, but can't find a worse pair of "options" to choose from. Bush/Gore came close - but either one of them, I can't believe I am writing this, could be heralded as amazing men when placed side-by-side with McCain/Obama. Not saying it would be me doing the heralding - but anyway.

The sorry-ass "choice" between Obama and McCain was perhaps the most stunning by-product of the fact that no one in their right mind would want to be president. I think in McCain's case it was a matter of momentum - why he was singled out. I can imagine the RNC union leadership sitting around thinking, "I think he would be an acceptable choice given the mood of the country. And, anyway, who the hell else do we have?" In the case of Obama, I can see the DNC heads saying, "I know we can't say it out loud, but here is an unknown, highly-charismatic orator... who happens to be black. Bonus points for us!" And the selection of each of these men points to just how deep the contempt for the electorate is.

So, it came down to "Old Bastard" and "The Hopey Changey One." I could barely stand rooting for McCain. He offended my sensibilities. But I could hardly support the One - a community organizer? "What the f*ck is that?"

But when Mr. Obama won the presidency, I was not at all surprised. The marketing of the product was, I must say, absolutely stellar. And I mean that sincerely. F*cking brilliant.

But chalking Obama's win up to clever marketing cannot explain his victory entirely. Americans are extremely savvy consumers. We are not unsophisticated consumers. And brilliant marketing only works to the extent the public is willing to "Believe" in the product behind the hype.

And after eight years of Bush, especially the last term of Bush, the public was desperate to believe. Hopeful for "change" - whatever it meant - and however it would be made manifest. Desperate, really. So, it was no surprise that Obama won whatsoever. Or it shouldn't have been, anyway.

Brilliantly packaged. Great label. Strong colors. Cross-gender appeal. Cross-racial appeal. Perfectly positioned on the shelf. Excellent distribution (available everywhere). And the price was right, too! Why... it was free! The tonic for all that ails!

How exciting to be one of the lucky ones to recognize its amazing restorative, preventative, and preservative qualities! In time, everyone would surely come to their senses! And when that time came, there would be I-told-you-sos all around. And the Sneetches who refused to hope and believe in the hope others hoped they might believe in too would apologize.

His appeal was real - the real mystique of any product that would cure all ills with a single spoonful. The how of how that tonic might work was never asked. In part because the alternative - cod oil - might or might not provide slight benefit - but everyone knows cod oil tastes like shit. So, on the one hand we had "Miracle Tonic" - on the other, "Cod Oil."

But the problem is that Obama, the product ensconced in the beautifully-considered and easy-to-use, resealable and child-proof packaging, is not so great - near as I can tell. It is precisely what I thought it was. What I suspected it was. Not to say Cod Oil would have been any better. One can even argue that the placebo value of the tonic that is Obama is preferable to anything Cod Oil might have provided. And certainly, I agree. Four years of Cod Oil - yuck.

But I refuse to drink the tonic. And those that do drink it in - religiously - are coming to find that their bones still ache - they are still balding - they are still suffering from migraines - and they aren't any more attractive today than they were before the magic elixir.

So, in the end, when they push the heaping mountains of exoskeletal shimmer into the landfill, this Sneetch will not laugh or even cry. Just shake his head and line up, like all the other beach-imprisoned saps, once again at the machine of Sylvester McMonkey McBean.

Enoch_Root

AKA. Bobby Donn Brubaker (the most popular man in Mesa, AZ), the Umbrella of Terror, Jack Ketch.

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