Dan Rather at HuffPo on His Watermelon Kerfuffle

10Mar/1021

Dan Rather at HuffPo on His Watermelon Kerfuffle

He may be unintentionally the funniest person alive today.

If you don't find this hilarious, please write and tell me why.

Tangentially related would be this explanation of why I do not exist.

Reminds me I need to link to Mike more. Preston and the gang, too.

Dan Collins

Dan Collins is a dude who blogs. He used to blog elsewhere. Now he blogs here.

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Thorgina McSaladtosser
March 10th, 2010 - 16:07

Where’s thorbag to accuse you and your readership of being racists? Must have passed out at the bar, using his laptop as a pillow.

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Darcy
March 10th, 2010 - 19:18

I can’t do vids on this machine (no sound! *shakes fist*), but yeah, he’s hilarious. Poor guy.

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General Tso's Chicken
March 10th, 2010 - 19:56

Thor’s been sleeping all day because his mom and I were very loud last night, IYKWIMAITYD.

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SDN
March 10th, 2010 - 21:45

Would you actually want to hit something that had ever had whore anywhere inside it? Just sayin’

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Joe
March 10th, 2010 - 22:49

General Tso is very funny.

Sorry Dan, but Dan Rather is far more sad than funny. I do not think Rather is racist as much as just pathetic.

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- thor's mom
  March 12th, 2010 - 04:40
  
  Me love you long time, Joe!
  
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JD's OhSoGay McDad
March 11th, 2010 - 00:26

There’s your answer, ya sheltered, cowardly, racist prick, they’re here for me, not you, even on your own shitty blog.

Pssst, Shakespeare has been done before, no REALLY!

Big Picture. Learn to write, Mister Talent.

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- General Tso's Chicken
  March 11th, 2010 - 01:24
  
  Sorry, I can’t hear ya over your mom’s orgasmic screaming. Go snorkel your Obama RealDoll, bitch.
  
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  - JD McSnork is a Salad Tossing Sporky
    March 11th, 2010 - 06:10
    
    Day four hundred and one of Obama obsessing is here, Dan.
    
    Hurry. Link to weaselzipper. Make my morning.
    
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    - Bob Reed
      March 11th, 2010 - 07:20
      
      Public scrutiny is part and parcel of being the President.
      
      Although, I suppose you think that should be abolished, much like dissent, in the age of the affirmative action Presidency.
      
      Because to criticize is RAAAAAAAAACIST!
      
      Who knew all of thise Booooooosh! haters were such vile racists…
      
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- Bob Reed
  March 11th, 2010 - 07:17
  
  Self aggrandizement and an inflated sense of self worth are not attractive qualities; especially when coupled with sophmoric taunting and baseless insults…
  
  I suggest you learn, and put into practice, some better social skills.
  
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  - JD McSnork is a Salad Tossing Sporky
    March 12th, 2010 - 00:32
    
    Eat me, snorkel dork Bob.
    
    So, like, I get up in the morning to check my bank account and read some of the morning news so as to make sure the world hasn’t blown up under my feet and sometimes I’ll do a Collins Watch to make sure my favorite Vermont Minuteman-rube is still bleating. Can’t say I actually read him much anymore for Dan’s full misery of tortured victimhood BS doesn’t sit well on a empty stomach, as well you all know. But this morning I posted a bow-tied turd instructing Dan to hurry up and freshen up his web page with some of his patently effete and factually challenged elitism. The sarcastic rub is that I’m code-speaking, of course, and outright commanding Collins to plug his dripping douche hole.
    
    The man listened. Wallah! Not one freakin’ post from Dan!
    
    The day is here, good people, our little pagan Collins is finally going to follow the course! Take his marching orders! Abide his command!
    
    Dan, tomorrow we get up early, 5:30. You’ll scan the NYT, WSJ, HuffPo and Politico and nothing else. Bowl of bran-spiked cereal, one apple or banana, your choice, and coffee, black, no additives and a glass of OJ or apple juice, again, your choice. At 6:30 am you will begin to write a comparative narrative discussing the benefits to society of socialized medicine versus the dynamic loss to society of countless persons possessing untold human potential all as a consequence of our failed, corrupt and wholly un-Christian capitalist payment system.
    
    7:45, bam, hit enter and post that bad bitch. Re-read for typos. 8:00, time to freshen up the resume while listening to some jam. Grab your earbuds and your I-phone, download Slacker app and set to toe tapping to a alternative rock channel.
    
    8:35, shower and tooth brush time is here!
    
    9:00, yellow pad, pencil, list must-do-s for today followed by inane family requests that never get done.
    
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    - Bob Reed
      March 12th, 2010 - 01:02
      
      Everybody needs a day off from time-to-time. I haven’t heard of you laying any large coin on Dan lately, so, you know, you’re not exactly paying his salary.
      
      Besides, I’ll be posting again starting in the next few days. I’ve been busy with a project as well as with lent devotions, ministries, and outreach services to the poor and less fortunate. In fact I need to hit the rack as tomorrow I’m making gallons of soup for an outreach supper we’ve been holding at the parish.
      
      We fund it all out of our own pockets; no government funds here. We’re not distributing other peoples money, just giving of our treasure, time, and talents to serve others…
      
      You see, it’s real easy to give away other peoples money, like Obama and Biden, who give comparitively little of their own money to charity; but harder to reach in your own pocket.
      
      You ought to try a little charity and charitable behavior-especially during lent. Look on the positive side of things-say something nice for a change!
      
      It’ll make you feel better, and will make someone else feel better too; and isn’t what it’s all about?
      
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    - Robert Stacy McCain's AIDS infected Mommy
      March 12th, 2010 - 05:24
      
      Glad to hear you’ve come close to completing the community service hours necessary to satisfy your parole board, Macaca Bob. But I reflect on the true evil of it all, namely the lines of starving Irish homeless families impoverished from the rethuglidummy engineered economic collapse of the American economy, and as I reflect I come to this question: Did you really have to snarf up all the butter pecan ice cream meant for the truly needy, Bob, you fat fucking toad?
      
      I wonder who is fatter, dicentra or Blob. Two jeebus howling geniuses unable to figure when to roll themselves away from the all-u-can-eat Chinese buffet. 300-pounds of neurotic, and still growing.
      
      Well, Dan, almost time to hit the story line. Take a minute for the fiber and coffee to work its magic. Do be thoughtful and light a match.
      
      I’ll check back.
      
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    - JD woofs Micheal Vick's chocolate boxed lunch
      March 12th, 2010 - 06:46
      
      Looks like someone is having a difficult time keeping to a schedule!
      
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Bob Reed
March 11th, 2010 - 07:28

Rather will get a pass on this, that goes without saying…

Now, let’s perform the usual thought experiment. Imagine what kind of crying and gnashing of teeth would be occurring had this been said by O’Reilly, Will, or any number of conservative journalists or commentators. It would be a din of extraordinary magnitude to be sure.

That said, do I think Rather meant anything racists by it? No. I think he was trying to make up a noteworthy, folksy, sounding aphorism on the fly-like more nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs-and simply flubbed it.

Unless, of course, he’s an unconscious racist…

No, liberals are never guilty of that, besides, he’s an Obama cheerleader.

But if you listen to the clip, it’s hilarious to hear Matthews jump right in to blather over Rather…

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Prophet Mohammed
March 11th, 2010 - 09:59

There is a legend that I will come back to earth born of a man. I will hatch out of a big turd. I suspect one on this thread was born of Dan Rather. Here’s another hint, his mother is a sharmuta.

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Danger
March 12th, 2010 - 03:02

“Besides, I’ll be posting again starting in the next few days.”

About time Soldier! We need you manning the Missile Silo. The crazy progs have gone from passing bills without reading them to passing bills without voting on them.

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Enoch_Root
March 12th, 2010 - 05:29

ThORLL – go away.

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serr8d
March 12th, 2010 - 07:42

That Discovery article wasn’t earth-shatteringly informative. We knew hominids were prey; still prey we are, but mostly to viri and assorted bacteria – and of course to each other. Primordial crocs notwithstanding, we’ve survived to date and should thank those crocs et al for the evolutionary boosts.

(Did you see that 3rd commenter’s user pic? Uyraell, I mean. Now there’s some need for further evolutions… )

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