POWIP Piece of Work In Progress – Former Abode of Dan Collins

Temporal Justice – Bittersweet in Babylon.

As I have mentioned multiple times before, the death of my dear friend James at the hand of the negligent James Arthur Ray has been ... trying. I've traveled through all conceivable thoughts, feelings, emotions: disbelief, searing hatred, thirst for vengeance, sadness, depression, achingly longing for my dear friend's company, sense of deep loss, helplessness, fantasies of bloody revenge, pity, confusion, and any other hue you can imagine.

James Shore & Co-Traveler Cody Jones

Today marks the day that James Shore's widow and beloved mother of James's three surviving children takes the stand in Arizona. For the jury, this will be the first time they learn that James Shore has a widow... that he was the father of three young children. It will be the first time they see the actual aftermath of the crimes perpetrated by James A Ray.

As relates to the process, James A Ray, now a convicted felon with three counts of Negligent Homicide on this dossier, faces upwards of 11.5 years for his crimes. He could, theoretically, receive probation. Or, alternatively, the judge could allow him to serve his debt concurrently. This brings us to the crux of the matter.

It is very difficult for me not to want to see the murderer James Arthur Ray serve the maximum the law allows. It is very difficult for me not to wish him a very brutish cell mate with a penchant for pretty boys with manicured fingernails.

To be honest, I still contemplate the ways in which years from now I might find the aged perpetrator alone in an alley. Very difficult not to fantasize of cornering him, presenting a devious smile, recalling my dear and beloved friend James, and sticking him like a pig while growling, only to steal away unnoticed from the scene.

But justice is not, alas, mine to mete out. Thankfully so. I am not very merciful.

On the matter of Justice, I am conflicted.

As a Christian Man, I am to forgive. I am to love my enemies. This is no small challenge for me. As you can tell, my base self senses that there is a debt to be paid. There is an account to be reconciled. My base humanness tells me that no judge, no jury, no time in prison can balance the scale or exact reparation to those who loved James. That is, my lower self shakes when I contemplate inaction. To the degree I feel near compelled to settle the score to my satisfaction. I can tell you this: without my fear of the Lord, James Arthur Ray would already be dead. And this is no boast. I know myself. I am, without Christ, the Celt who gets naked and paints himself blue, hollers some strange battle-cry and without hesitation throws himself at the enemy. I am that man. I am that man without my fear of the Lord.

This is a curious irony: this man, James Arthur Ray, owes his very life to the Lord Jesus Christ because of the Lord's stranglehold on my heart and passions. Yet, this very same man, James Arthur Ray led many away from the Master and into great error. You may think I boast, but I tell you I do not. As James is my witness, I do not boast, so dark is my soul without Him.

Are not those very Romans, who were spared by the barbarians through their respect for Christ, become enemies to the name of Christ? The reliquaries of the martyrs and the churches of the apostles bear witness to this; for in the sack of the city they were open sanctuary for all who fled to them, whether Christian or Pagan. To their very threshold the blood-thirsty enemy raged; there his murderous fury owned a limit. Thither did such of the enemy as had any pity convey those to whom they had given quarter, lest any less mercifully disposed might fall upon them. And, indeed, when even those murderers who everywhere else showed themselves pitiless came to those spots where that was forbidden which the license of war permitted in every other place, their furious rage for slaughter was bridled, and their eagerness to take prisoners was quenched. Thus escaped multitudes who now reproach the Christian religion, and impute to Christ the ills that have befallen their city; but the preservation of their own life—a boon which they owe to the respect entertained for Christ by the barbarians—they attribute not to our Christ, but to their own good luck. They ought rather, had they any right perceptions, to attribute the severities and hardships inflicted by their enemies, to that divine providence which is wont to reform the depraved manners of men by chastisement, and which exercises with similar afflictions the righteous and praiseworthy,—either translating them, when they have passed through the trial, to a better world, or detaining them still on earth for ulterior purposes. And they ought to attribute it to the spirit of these Christian times, that, contrary to the custom of war, these bloodthirsty barbarians spared them, and spared them for Christ’s sake, whether this mercy was actually shown in promiscuous places, or in those places specially dedicated to Christ’s name, and of which the very largest were selected as sanctuaries, that full scope might thus be given to the expansive compassion which desired that a large multitude might find shelter there. Therefore ought they to give God thanks, and with sincere confession flee for refuge to His name, that so they may escape the punishment of eternal fire—they who with lying lips took upon them this name, that they might escape the punishment of present destruction.

For of those whom you see insolently and shamelessly insulting the servants of Christ, there are numbers who would not have escaped that destruction and slaughter had they not pretended that they themselves were Christ’s servants. Yet now, in ungrateful pride and most impious madness, and at the risk of being punished in everlasting darkness, they perversely oppose that name under which they fraudulently protected themselves for the sake of enjoying the light of this brief life. (St. Augustine of Hippo, City of God)

As a Christian Man, I am called to pray for James Arthur Ray's conversion. To pray that his soul attain to the promises of Christ. I am not quite there as of yet. Not near. I cannot tell you how troubled I am about it. I did not want this conflict. Nor did I want to contemplate these things. Instead I want to go to a local Greek eatery with James (which he loved to do) and watch him order his gyro-styled omelets. But I cannot do this silly thing any more. Instead I am called to forgive! And not only forgive, but pray for James Ray's hideous soul? God, that is impossible! What you ask is impossible for me! I do not want James Ray to know you, Lord. He doesn't deserve to host you Lord! These are the thoughts that occur to me. And I don't like them. They point to how damaged I am in spirit.

Alas, the disposition of James Arthur Ray's soul... is my concern. As is yours dear reader. He is my neighbor, though I despise him! And only through our neighbors do we demonstrate the depth of our love of the Lord. It is truly impossible! I didn't ask for this. None of us did. But it is here.

Bittersweet describes this debacle perfectly. No verdict will bring our beloved brother James back to life in this dimension. No amount of time served in prison will bring him back.

On the score of temporal debt owed... to James's surviving family... to his friends who tear up at the longing for his company... to those who never met him... to the world: 3 years, 7 years, 11.5 years - does it matter? In the end, does it matter? I think so. Humanity is due some repayment for the loss of such a beautiful person. How much? I do not know. "Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's." (Mark 12:17). Perhaps that is the point. In Babylon, there is nothing but "confusion".

Perhaps the only clarity to be found, my brothers and sisters, is when we ascend the Cross ever higher, up and away from the dirt beneath our feet. Perhaps we really ought "allow the dead to bury their own dead." (Matthew 8:22).

God, you are great. Help me to love my neighbor whom I abhor. I trust in you.

My friends: I am a poor soul. Pray for me. I want no part of this world. Yet I toil here. I claim to be a pilgrim soul... a citizen of the City of God... but my passions banish me to the City of Men. Pray for me. Pray for James. Pray for Alyssa and the children. And, yes... pray for the conversion of the soul of James Arthur Ray.

God help me. God have mercy on us.

Shore Children Education Fund

Please make checks payable to:  Shore Children Education Fund

Shore Children Education Fund
c/o Schmidt & Bartelt Funeral Home
10121 W. North Ave.
Wauwatosa, WI 53266

------ more God-bothery Stuff Below: why we suffer --------

Wh[y], then, have the Christians suffered in that calamitous period, which would not profit every one who duly and faithfully considered the following circumstances? ...

... If any one forbears to reprove and find fault with those who are doing wrong, because he seeks a more seasonable opportunity, or because he fears they may be made worse by his rebuke, or that other weak persons may be disheartened from endeavoring to lead a good and pious life, and may be driven from the faith; this man’s omission seems to be occasioned not by covetousness, but by a charitable consideration. But what is blame-worthy is, that they who themselves revolt from the conduct of the wicked, and live in quite another fashion, yet spare those faults in other men which they ought to reprehend and wean them from; and spare them because they fear to give offence, lest they should injure their interests in those things which good men may innocently and legitimately use,—though they use them more greedily than becomes persons who are strangers in this world, and profess the hope of a heavenly country. For not only the weaker brethren who enjoy married life, and have children (or desire to have them), and own houses and establishments, whom the apostle addresses in the churches, warning and instructing them how they should live, both the wives with their husbands, and the husbands with their wives, the children with their parents, and parents with their children, and servants with their masters, and masters with their servants,—not only do these weaker brethren gladly obtain and grudgingly lose many earthly and temporal things on account of which they dare not offend men whose polluted and wicked life greatly displeases them; but those also who live at a higher level, who are not entangled in the meshes of married life, but use meagre food and raiment, do often take thought of their own safety and good name, and abstain from finding fault with the wicked, because they fear their wiles and violence. And although they do not fear them to such an extent as to be drawn to the commission of like iniquities, nay, not by any threats or violence soever; yet those very deeds which they refuse to share in the commission of they often decline to find fault with, when possibly they might by finding fault prevent their commission. They abstain from interference, because they fear that, if it fail of good effect, their own safety or reputation may be damaged or destroyed; not because they see that their preservation and good name are needful, that they may be able to influence those who need their instruction, but rather because they weakly relish the flattery and respect of men, and fear the judgments of the people, and the pain or death of the body; that is to say, their non-intervention is the result of selfishness, and not of love.

Accordingly this seems to me to be one principal reason why the good are chastised along with the wicked, when God is pleased to visit with temporal punishments the profligate manners of a community. They are punished together, not because they have spent an equally corrupt life, but because the good as well as the wicked, though not equally with them, love this present life; while they ought to hold it cheap, that the wicked, being admonished and reformed by their example, might lay hold of life eternal. And if they will not be the companions of the good in seeking life everlasting, they should be loved as enemies, and be dealt with patiently. For so long as they live, it remains uncertain whether they may not come to a better mind. These selfish persons have more cause to fear than those to whom it was said through the prophet, “He is taken away in his iniquity, but his blood will I require at the watchman’s hand.”  For watchmen or overseers of the people are appointed in churches, that they may unsparingly rebuke sin. Nor is that man guiltless of the sin we speak of, who, though he be not a watchman, yet sees in the conduct of those with whom the relationships of this life bring him into contact, many things that should be blamed, and yet overlooks them, fearing to give offence, and lose such worldly blessings as may legitimately be desired, but which he too eagerly grasps. Then, lastly, there is another reason why the good are afflicted with temporal calamities—the reason which Job’s case exemplifies: that the human spirit may be proved, and that it may be manifested with what fortitude of pious trust, and with how unmercenary a love, it cleaves to God.  (City of God, Book 1, Chapter 9)

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Enoch_Root

Person with kids,a beautiful wife, a job. Catholic of the Latin Rite.

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